{{first_name|Darling}},

I'm at home for Christmas.
And like it always does… it stirred things.
My old bedroom.
The younger version of me.
The way my nervous system used to brace around the family dynamic.

But this time —
It didn’t pull me back.
This time, I was able to hold all versions of me at once.
They all exist.
They all belong.
They all shaped the woman sitting here, writing this.

🌙

There was a time I wasn’t close to my family.
I kept distance.
I didn’t ask for help.
I didn’t want to be a burden.

But now?
My sisters, they’re my soul sisters.
My parents, I see what they gave up for me.
And I also hold compassion for the things that were hard.
The trauma wasn’t planned.
They were parenting for the first time too.
Carrying their own unhealed sht while trying to raise someone whole.

I once read this in a Dr. John Demartini book
“Our voids become our values.”

Dr. John Demartini's concept of Values and Voids explains that your deepest personal values are born from what you perceive as missing or lacking (your voids) in your life, often stemming from childhood experiences or past judgments, driving you to seek fulfillment by pursuing those perceived deficiencies, leading to focused, sometimes compulsive, behaviors

And f*ck, isn’t that the wildest thing?
That the very thing that hurt you,

Became the thing you now protect in others.
That what once silenced you,
Is now the truth you’re here to speak.

That your pain
Became your purpose.

🩷
Healing doesn’t always happen in isolation.
Sometimes it happens in a messy kitchen.
In a laugh that surprises you.
In a moment where you’re seen and loved exactly as you are.
In a room where you don’t have to shrink.
Where your becoming doesn’t feel like betrayal.
Where you’re messy and makeupless in your PJs — and still held.

✨

So wherever you are today
Surrounded by family, chosen family, or just finding peace in your own presence…
I hope it feels sacred.
I hope it feels like enough.
And I hope you remember:
You are so f*cking loved.
Exactly as you are.
No performance needed.

Merry Christmas, {{first_name|darling}}.

With love,
M x